Unlimited Miles

Wendesday Jul1 31 2002

We have lunch at this old folks home called the “regent”.  We always go with the zone leaders because they have a car.  [Elder’s W and H had a vehicle, as all zone leaders did. We were glad to be picked up by them and they were glad to eat a free lunch at the “Old Folks Home” as I called it- which was in our area, and run by Mormons.] Sometimes they have to split us up because there is no empty table of four.  Those old people sure like to yap.  I tried to have fun with this old guy yesterday, but he had no sense of humor.  He said he was a salesman.  I asked him what he sold.

     “You name it, I sold it.”

     “Toothbrushes?”

     “What did I tell you, you name it, I sold it.”

     “Forks?”

     “You ask a dumb question, I’ll give you a dumb answer-  NOW WHO THE HELL SELLS FORKS!?”

Old people digress so much it’s scary.  [So that’s the most offensive line in this email to my mother. It also displays incorrect usage of digress. If I’m being honest- regress, or decay is closer to what I meant. Any negative association to old age, not digress.] Well, it sure is nice to have a p-day when the temperature is 100 degrees every day.  Every day.  [Preparation days were our days off, that’s when we’d write emails to our families and play fiercely competitive half-court basketball games.] We taught a lady a First Discussion tracting [tracting is knocking on doors] yesterday.  She lives in a group home, but she was in an apt because she was babysitting.  Is a group home low-income housing, or is it for people with “issues”?  [Ok, so maybe that sentence is just as offensive, if not more ignorant.] I’m pretty sure it’s for the crazies, but I’m asking to find out for sure.

 We aren’t getting anywhere with the car.  [We were given a mid-eighties VW GTI by a member of the church. We were gonna get it running. A running car that wasn’t a mission-provided missionary car is like, heaven. It’s the ultimate goal basically, amongst dissilusioned missionaries. We called the idea Unlimited Miles. If a companionship was fortunate enough to be in a Car Area, they still had to report their  mileage nightly, weekly, and monthly, to the mission. And it was never a liberal alottment.] We have one day a week to work on it.  We don’t know how to work on it, and we aren’t too excited about working on it.  I want to scratch off the VIN and any other identification, take it out to the middle of nowhere (not to hard to find around here [Pueblo, Colorado]) and blow it up.  It would make a nice picture.  Don’t worry, that’s not happening.  I think Elder T is a bit down because he doesn’t get letters from any girls or friends. [Elder T was my Greenie- I was training him. This sadness about the detachement from the people at home, particularly the girls, was common amongst the young missionaries. It’s like “growing up” for missionaries.] He’ll catch on pretty soon.  The work around here is still great, and very interesting.  It is probably a good thing I have been on my bike since Kansas.  [Western Kansas was part of my mission, it’s where I served at the beginnning, and it was the only time I had a car. I was there for six weeks.] Otherwise I would probably be fat.

bye. love aaron.

Couple things-

I’d die to have that GTI right now.

And on Thursdays at the Regent, a woman would come in and play classical piano for the old folks. She was very good. So one Thursday, after lunch, and a lovely session by a nice woman in her fifties (daughter of an inmate), Elder T and I follwed with a version of Heart and Soul and then Chopsticks, just like in the 1988 movie BIG. Our rendition was recieved well, with the hundred or so old folks appluading.

AAAAAAND, we’re starting a magazine, Sarah and I. It’s called Imposter. SFSF will stay home to things like the above email to my mother in 2002. Imposter will have more of the essays and whatnot. Like what Sarah writes. And Like that thing I have about American Idol. There will also be…can I call it a cartoon? Is it a comic? You know what I’m talking about. Drawings. Also reviews.

Author: Aaron

Aaron lives in Texas right now. View all posts by Aaron