Normal Human Being

I went into work a couple days ago at 3pm. A typical day is 9am to about 7:45pm. Every now and then I begin at 3pm which is much easier to deal with for reasons the reader probably understands.

I entered clean-shaven and wearing a button-down shirt from The Gap. I shave about once a week and wear button-down shirts from The Gap on my days off.

I have a helper in the Deli now. Davy is fairly new to the deli but seems to be doing fine. The deli is responsible for sampling things that we sell at Dave’s Fresh Pasta. (I don’t work at a deli within Goldman Sachs. That was all made up because my manager requested I remove Dave’s Fresh Pasta from my blog. “A little snarky”, I was told.)

Still in my Gap button shirt I walked over to the deli to check on things. I noticed  that on the counter, there was a basket with a few broken remnants of falafel chips. Davy had sampled falafel chips. There was a little sign that said falafel chips are great with hummus, but there was no hummus available to customers for sampling.

DFP makes fantastic hummus. It’s good. I don’t know how to describe it other than say that it’s really good. My food knowledge is pedestrian. (I offered to write on the DFP website and exploit my pedestrian food knowledge for comedic value, but that idea was rejected by the manager.)

It occured to me to go over to the pasta room and get a little thing of hummus for sampling. This way, people wouldn’t have to take Davy’s word that the chips are great with hummus.

I walked over to the cooler in the pasta room with all the sauces and stuff. Acrross the pasta counter, Thea saw me  poking around for hummus, which is normal. It’s normal for me to take a long time to spot something right before my eyes and it’s normal for Thea to spot my incompetence.

“Whatcha looking for Aaron?”

“Just a little hummus Thea, to sample in the deli…aaaand there it is.”

“Decided to shave today Aaron?”

“Yup, I even went for a run.”

“So you’re saying you decided to be a normal human being today?”


Author: Aaron

Aaron lives in Texas right now.

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